Cluttered Space…Cluttered Mind

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One of the battles that I seem to repeatedly wage is with clutter. Clutter it turns out is not a good thing if you are dealing with Bipolar. I personally feel it isn’t healthy for anyone, actually. So, what exactly is clutter? Clutter is a collection of things lying about in an untidy state. Sometimes those things are necessary but most of the time they really aren’t.

Clutter, it turns out can’t be escaped, no matter how hard a person might try. It can, however, with a bit of diligence be managed. I have a bit of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) that is a tag along to my Bipolar. It isn’t severe but it has managed to mark me as a clean freak to my friends and family. I like things organized and everything has a place and a purpose. Clutter stresses me out. Here is the rub, having lived my entire life in the company of others and often with small children or pets in tow, clutter has been an ever present entity. One person’s clutter is another person’s pride and joy that can’t be parted with (I have found this out the hard way).

In my perfect world I would undoubtedly reside in a tiny studio apartment or perhaps one of those tiny homes that people plaster all over the internet. I would chose function and practicality over designed decorative form (if the design elements combined purposeful function as well as be pleasing to the eye that would be perfection). I might be a bit lazy or perhaps I just like life simple; probably a bit of both if I am honest but with preparation for the move…I find that there is too much stuff.

I parted with some large oil paintings that I had done years ago in Vermont, oil paints, etc. that the moving company won’t pack, and I have purged unnecessary items until it should have hurt (emotionally). I discovered that I am not that sentimental, which will do nothing to dispel that cloak of detachment I wear like protective armor. I also realized that pets can have as much “stuff” as small children and that as much as I would love to chuck another person’s stuff…it is not my place to do so.

I am scrutinizing every item I own. If it no longer brings me joy, if it is something I no longer find interesting, relevant or useful, it is donated to someone that will enjoy it or needs it. I am not looking at it as losing something rather I am wiping the slate clean ready to move into a new chapter of life. I don’t want the clutter of a past that no longer exists coming along for the ride.

 

Photo: Hotel Courtyard in Jaisalmer, India. Taken by Pamela with Nikon DSLR 5300.

 

 

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