Creating the Life You Want

is something that all of us can do. I think that we often get so busy keeping up with the expectations that other people impose upon us (not to mention those that we inflict upon ourselves) that life loses a little joy and you start to feel like you are being sucked dry and you go into survival mode. You know what I am talking about, that point where you feel like just going back to bed, taking a vacay from adulting or bingeing on Netflix, wine and ice cream while simultaneously trying not to linger to long on the precipice of that shame spiral that is reaching out for your soul.

Every January I go through what I like to call the New Year Purge. My mother calls it nesting but to me that always implied accumulating stuff that wasn’t always necessary at the moment but might possibly be needed soon. Pregnant women nest, they start cleaning the house, getting stuff ready for the upcoming baby and the fact that they will essentially be in a sleep deprived state for awhile. You need to do that deep clean, stash and stockpile to make life a bit easier post baby.

I, however, am not stashing or stockpiling anything. I am doing a deep clean and I am organizing but I am doing so after much reflection and purging things no longer relevant to the life I want to live. I am creating the life I want. I do want to point out that this is a work in progress, mostly because I am a work in progress. We all are. As a work in progress this Create the Life I want moment peaked about 3 or 4 years ago with an epiphany where I decided that my life could be better, I could be happier and feel more fulfilled; I could be more balanced. This all sounds great but where and how do you get started? Yeah, That was my question too.

In my case it was a big jumble of trial and error which eventually resulted in a handful of questions and 3 rules which I am about to share with you.

Take stock of your life: What do you LOVE about your life? What do you LOVE about YOU? What do you wish you could change about your life/you? Do you feel happy and fulfilled? Why or Why not? Is there something that you always wanted to do or do more of but you never have time?

Some of these will be easy to answer and others won’t be and that is okay. The first rule to Creating the Life you want is to accept that it isn’t going to be easy. Friction induces expansion, and you want that. Stagnation isn’t a good thing.

The second rule to Creating the Life you want is all about accepting yourself. You are a unique individual, with a perspective, value system and personal code of ethics that is all yours and yours alone. You are a universe all your own, remember that the next time you (or anybody) starts a comparative analysis. Be bold, be different, be you.

The third rule to Creating the Life you want is being mindful of others. Let’s face it you are not alone out there in the cosmos. There are other universes with their own space-time continuums, so lets be kind and respectful.

At the end of the first year (and every year after) take a moment for reflection. What worked for you? What didn’t work? What is the next step you would like to take in the areas that did work? Are you willing to let go of what didn’t work or does it just need some tweaking to once again be a viable option? How are you getting in the way of Creating the Life you want? What steps can you take to get out of your way?

Yep, those last two questions are brutal but very important, so dig deep.

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